Deposing the Monarchy

Friday 19 December 2008

Deposing the Monarchy:

Revolution on Harrison Street

Within my breast beats the heart of a cold-blooded killer. Not only have I sanctioned the death of a reigning queen… I have aided and abetted the revolutionaries and have, with my own bare feet, stomped to death dozens of her minions. Gone are my days of shuddering in revulsion. I commit the act with a vindictive glee… the worst sort of murderer with no sense of remorse and no desire for rehabilitation.

Today was the day I came to grips with the darker side of my soul…

We live on an ant hill… most of you already know this. Home remedies haven't worked. Ant repellant hasn't worked. Today Tillman and Sandy came to visit. And Tillman asked whether I have any ant poison. As a matter of fact, I do!! I get it out of the trunk of the car (because it was a purchase from the night before…) And Tillman (aka my "hired" assassin) delivers the poison to the top of the hill… which basically means he pours it all along the perimeter of the house. Then he warns that a follow-up raid should be made in a day or two. A hardened killer like me can easily handle that.

The other visitor of the day – Terry Frizzell – bringing a tile saw. He monitored James during a quick demonstration that practically left me biting my nails in a frenzy of nerves… And then left us to it. The nervousness continued all day… Fortunately I made not one, but TWO trips to Lowe's for supplies. This effectively took me out of The Worry Zone. I understand my mother so much more now. Somehow, if you don't see your husband doing something scary, you can pretend that it isn't happening. My concern was totally unwarranted though. The tile was laid perfectly and we only lost one tile (and that to a mis-measurement more than to a cutting error.) I was extremely proud of James today. I always am, but this is something totally out of his field. And it looks magnificent. Now in 48 hours we'll try our hand at grouting!